Can we be both sensitive AND strong?
Why is it that sensitive people seem to attract bullying? Since we were little kids, we Sensitives have experienced unkind and dominating behavior from others.
I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and this has plagued me! But now that I’m doing ‘all this spiritual work’ (i.e., focusing on living a more heart-centered life, and so forth), I naively believed this phenomenon would stop….Nope.
My default setting used to be to blame myself when this happened. There must be something in me that is causing this, I thought. Was I pumping out some invisible scent that says “I’m weak, I’m meek, please dump your crap on me and push me around”? And then, my pendulum would swing back the other way and blame them. “There’s something wrong with them - what a freakin’ [#!*$!😠] they are!” Nowadays, the more evolved/enlightened version of me often feels understanding and compassion for the other person’s wounds that led them to behave this way. And while compassion and understanding seem to be part of the puzzle, it doesn’t seem to be the full picture. I was missing something….
The truth is - it is both us and them that lead people to treat us sensitives this way. And, what if this experience is not necessarily a problem that needs to be fixed?
I strongly believe that our soul chooses to have certain experiences that will best serve our mission here on earth. What if this experience is part of the game plan for both of us? Maybe our soul chose a mission of learning to love ourselves, and theirs chose learning kindness? Then perhaps this experience is simply their mission synergistically meshing with ours. What if this routine that plays out again and again is simply giving us opportunities to advance our game plan…to be forged by the fire - emerging stronger and more rock solid than ever in loving ourselves?
If you’re a Sensitive like me (check out my Am I a Sensitive? quiz if you’re not sure 🤨), the path to being both sensitive AND strong lies in knowing and loving ourselves. There may not be that much to actively do in that moment when we feel we’re being treated unkindly or being bullied, other than removing ourselves from the situation. And the answer certainly doesn’t lie in trying to change them. The answer lies in not focusing on the symptoms, and rather understanding the underlying disease of being disconnected from our true nature.
And we can connect with our true nature through things like meditation, prayer, experiencing nature or basking in feelings of gratitude. And while self-knowledge and self-love may not completely eradicate this experience of others treating us unkindly, it should happen a lot less. Because others will sense both our sensitivity and our strength, which makes it oh-so-much-easier for them to extend kindness (or sense that there’s a better opportunity someplace else to practice learning kindness).
And when unkindness and dominating behavior do happen, that’s our hint to look 👀 for the alignment with the soul’s plan. To reframe it as: ‘this might be happening for both of our highest good.’ Many spiritual thought leaders talk about the importance of shifting our perspective from ‘this is happening to me’ to ‘this is happening for me.’
By returning to our true nature over and over, we will find that this place is our safe haven. This is our home base. This is the source of both our beautiful, amazing sensitivity AND our rock-solid strength. This is the place where we know and love ourselves - exactly as we are 💛.
👉 For more tips on turning your sensitivity into your strength, check out my free resources For Sensitives and Empaths.
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If you relate to what you just read, I’d love to see your comments, below.